I was full of emotion because I was going to the solicitor to initiate our divorce proceedings as agreed with my husband. We both know our marriage has to end, but it is painful nevertheless. I find myself caught up in waves of grief, even though we are both conducting ourselves throughout with the utmost respect, compassion and love to minimise the bruising. Not just to ourselves, but above all for our fabulous adult children who we've so lovingly nurtured together.
I turned to my paints. I had the two backgrounds prepared from another day. I couldn't choose between them so I went for both. Light and dark. It took me a while to get the colour for my tears, but, hey ho, I found I'd created a lot of seagreen, a colour that features in many of my paintings. As I painted them I noticed that painting a tear is very similar to painting a lit candle, and I heard the phrase in my head, Shine like a light in the world. I thought of others grieving.... a friend of mine who has lost a relative tragically and, working abroad, she is at a distance from the family, when the instinct is to gather together.
I noticed then, that one of the candle holders I'd used that morning was one she'd given me from an earlier trip. So I sent a photo of my painting to her to let her know I was thinking of her. She replied, "It's amazing the power of the symbolism of lighting a candle."
So you can see how it was hard to know where to begin with this story... my grief, candle light, tears, 'shine like a light', sharing with others in their grief, candle light. I feel this moment, this story, came full circle - and I feel the healing as a gift.