If I get it 'wrong', I'm terrified of how far I could fall - into oblivion. I've had a few shocking experiences in my life that have affected my wiring - real horror does happen (early death of mother, suicides of father and best friend). Calming down my alarm system is a daily practice for me, taking the charge out of old patterns.
Is life better as a couple? Only if you take turns at being the helm & crew. I was helm on some key decisions in our life - eg which town to live in to bring up our children. But for most of the time I was crew, often because I couldn't make a decision, and he took charge. But then I was not happy with his choices. I felt I was railroaded into it, victimy and underpowered. Horrible for everyone.
Hence my interest in energy work. Where was my inner compass to navigate my world? Only I know what my world looks and feels like and it's up to me to chart it with love and precision. This means getting to know how I inhabit my body, how is it supporting me, how do I keep my mind clear, how do I nourish my spirit (through creativity and relationships) ... so I can live a vibrant life, be good company, contribute in a satisfying and meaningful way, and feel the joy of being alive.
I trust I will find a partner to share this next chapter, and in the meantime, I'm enjoying the autonomy of my time: learning what I do want, desire, and how to be.
If this sounds appealing to you, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a complimentary session.