My car had another agenda. It was not up to trip. I kept losing power till I was doing a top speed of 40 miles per hour. I pulled over onto the hard shoulder, by an S0S phone.
The emergency services took over. They were brilliant. The woman reassured me I was on camera, (!) they could see where I was, and that, thanks to my breakdown cover, an engineer would be with me within the hour. I was to wait away from the car, behind the crash barrier for safety.
The grass was soaking wet so I stood on a concrete cover - hard but dry. I felt the noonday sunshine on me, delicious. There were cars hurtling past on both sides (there was another lane joining the motorway). I rang my stepmother and told her I would head home once rescued so they weren't kept waiting. What now?
I felt into the situation. I felt alone... I was alone. Being separated from my husband, pending divorce, means I am without a significant other. I had a choice... and I chose to feel all my feelings, honouring them, whilst being open to what the experience might bring.
A troop of magpies were a great distraction - lots of squawking and posturing going on. I watched the clouds - ever changing. The collection of skimpy silver birch trees, planted too close together on the motorway edge, were valiantly reaching for the sky.
An outsize motorway traffic police car arrived. The officers reassured me that help was on its way. They'd stopped to let me know they knew about me. I was touched by their human kindness. The simple communication of 'all is well'. They zoomed off - no problem with their accelerator!
Within the hour, the engineer came, wonderful - and upbraided me for where I'd chosen to breakdown. Hmmm, not a good start. I let it go, reminding myself that this was all going to work out OK. I gave him the few clues I had about the car, and he seemed to change gear himself - into creative action. Within 20 minutes he had the car fixed - but it needed testing. I was to drive a good mile up the motorway to a meeting place and he'd be behind me, covering my back.
I set off, praying I'd get up to speed. The car sounded and performed happily all the way. Hooray. We did the paperwork and said our goodbyes.
To my delight, because I was fully present throughout, I remember this as a positive rather than negative experience. I think of the clouds and the magpies with affection, and the emergency services as kindly humans. This is living creatively, and I know that the hours of clearing old hurts has paid off. Now I can feel into the duality of life - the happy/sad, wet/dry, kind/cross, broken... fixed!... and it be OK. This is what energy work is about.
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